Throughout my adult life I have had a common theme running through most of my relationships with the thread being that of opposition. As a child, I can remember my father telling me to cut my steak against the grain. I really never understood what he was saying. I can assure you I do now. When teaching, I sometimes would ask my high school special education students after an introduction, "Are you with me or against me?".
How many kids have I taught that needed this in their IEP?, "________will follow directions 3/5 times when given a verbal prompt 90% of the time".
Literally, when taking Ciera out for ice cream and ordering her the banana split, she'd reject it and only want a vanilla cone.
Today, while preparing to tell the birthday story at school, my set up was taken apart or altered at least three times and I even had a student guarding it.
It seems with most of my interactions I am met with a devil's advocate, better idea, apathy or outright defiance. "What up?" I ask myself. Why the curse? I realize some of the responsibilty is mine. I did choose my career, but this pervasive?
Anyway, I think it has now been programmed into me. As a result, I have ultra empathy and I'm putting myself in the other people's shoes thinking like them before they speak.
I don't like it. It convoludes clear mindedness, which I adore.
Recently, I've had a shake up. Someone is listening to me and following directions immediately after the first prompt.
My dear Adam has given this to me and he is not even three yet.
This gift means the world to me.
I am so thankful for him and his goodness.
